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If I sound illogical, does it mean I am a criminal? 

I spit out a thousand words, they are metaphorical and rhetorical.

I’m just trying to be conventional, my feelings towards you is normal and it’s substantial.

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Shinobi Naku Songs

“I Wish I could be every little thing you wanted all the time.”

 -DISHWALLA

“Every Little Thing”

How I wish I am but it only gives me frustration. I think I have a better understanding with my life right now, breaking with the “this is how your life should be, look at them be like them”. Then who gives a fuck? Why in the hell should I imitate them? It doesn’t give me happiness and it is a total waste of time. Haven’t you noticed? The time when I took control of myself without your annoying, degrading humiliating and discriminating words of wisdom, I tasted victory. I remind you of this because there is no “Diploma” needed, my only arsenal is my determination to excel, my interest in my chosen job and my heart which I poured out my truest emotion for I do love what I am doing. I guess all of you are just too insensitive to point out the difference between loving what you love to do rather than insisting your traditional fixed mindset which definitely doesn’t help, that also frustrates your wishes. Life is not all about “work-eat-sleep”, as they said at some point we have to find options to break away from that routine. We are here in this world to discover and appreciate the things that surrounds us, the art teacher once said “Go out and Wonder”. She said “Surround yourself with questions and slowly discover the answers in your own effort, fill yourself with the question WHY?’. She is right because I grew up full of questions, I even question the religion that I grew up with and I found the answers through the various thoughts of the known idealist whom I shared the same point of view. It is really funny to think as I recall when they put you into shame because they want you to attend mass every Sunday and saying “That is why you are not blessed because you are not obliging yourself to attend the Sunday Mass” which in that sense I couldn’t argue upon because “that’s their belief”. Made me think though, for seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months and even years wondering what is the connection for all the things they said to me, for the record I do pray alone, before I sleep and when I wake up. I am always been thankful because every morning I can still feel the features in my face and the Known God gave me another reason to live, breathe life again and I am always been blessed with that kind of mentality. I look like a condemned human being because of my physical features (I intended to look like this way because I was able to determine the hypocrites living in the society and it is very effective).

Furthermore, those questions of life became my inspiration to learn and discover things. It really gave me a better understanding on how to live my life. The problem is, when you have this idea and you all have the supporting points to explain the things plus an exhibit of your experience, you are labeled as “mentally ill, crazy” and I don’t know why. So it came to my mind that what the society had known you before, you are not allowed to change the way you are. What a crazy society I lived in. Few people will fully understand and those types of people are blessed with high level of understanding. The thing is even your own family are the sole responsible of spreading the bad things and it really is a fucked up life, if you know what I mean. Again, I didn’t judge directly because I always see the other side of it on why they are treating me like that. Ever since I was doing all the positive things in life. Back in the day I even excel in school academics but still nobody cares to go up on the stage, well thank you teachers for pinning the ribbons and medals. The only people that give credit to your hard worked are the ones who are not closed to you, funny to think eh. There are many instances in my life that I gave to them just because I am an illegitimate child, my life experiences became more meaningful due to the failures which became my inspiration to challenge myself.

“Do the things that scares you most”. I knew, it is not easy to write but my domestic experiences became my tool to create portraits and to write poetry blog, for it eases my feelings if I write or draw. It is also my only way to pour out my emotion when nobody wants to hear me.

“So I walk up on high and step to the edge, to see my world below. And I laughed at myself while the tears roll down, ‘cause it’s the world I know. It’s the world I know.”

“The World I Know”
  -COLLECTIVE SOUL

When the time I was awakened I started my journey to the world of creativity and never had an instance of having a doubt in my instinct. It really feels good to be in a place where you belong. No other words could really express the triumph I felt. I gain more friends outside my country and they always gave me more inspiration to do well and develop the potential in me. I must say a big cure and definitely a relief to life’s downside. I figured out that the society I live defined success as a newborn child, everyone in the group cuddles and cheers but if success failed, you are the illegitimate baby being abandoned. So, it is good thing that I’m an illegitimate, it is an insult for them because of their humiliating words that I couldn’t do it (but I didn’t hate them) in fact it became my inspiration. I wanted them to share the experiences I had when the time they did that, but I hope they fully realized that what they did is wrong, pride I must say. Well and good, I can’t force them to change for who they are, besides they’re “old enough”.

“I didn’t change I just see things differently”

Indeed, I am. 

Positivity, determination, trust, love, patience, understanding, sacrifice and aside from that the three key factors in my life;

-Connect all the dots of failure

-Make the best things today for tomorrow’s benefit

-Karma is sweet (if you know how to handle)

The Perks of Being A Note Taker


I entered the world full of circles and smelled the rusty dust. 

From that environment I learned how to obtain my trust without wearing a mask.

It was a place of temporary celebration until I met a girl full of sensation.

I strived more because she was my inspiration and that was the result of my infatuation.

I broke the angel’s wings again in the name of love.

Eight minutes later a colorful light burst out from up above.

She opened the road that will lead me to the other side of the world.

Then I opened the door of tattling words and she gave me the mighty pencil as my arsenal, my precious sword.

8

Hey 8! I said it to you before that I will quit, but you said wait.”

Then you told me again,Please take out  the Hate and plant thy seeds whilst they Humiliate.

And then I said “OK great! Will you please open that gate, 8?”

You answered back “Oh! Sounds great, you finally ask me to open that gate. Just cool down! I know it’s not too late and one day you will celebrate.”

“What do you mean by that 8?

8 answered “Please pick up that pencil and let your hands, your mind and your heart dominate. They said that you are the cross burdened but don’t be disheartened because you’re here in this world to enlighten.”


“Forever Gr8ful JAH!”

In Memoriam to our Dog Buddy who died this morning

09.08.16

Cactus”


jzDub®-





Emotion Sickness


The young fella was longing for her attention, she made excuses and t’was too absurd to mention.

She acted numb and dumb, the young fella felt she was nowhere to be found, thinking she was drowned.

The young fella was emotionally disturbed because she abdicated the throne and now he felt a chill in his bone.

“I felt like she’s trying to sell down the river” the young fella botherly said, then he’s weeping bitterly.

“Life would be easy if she will communicate with me daily,  I will not blame my Father for he slowly re-arranging things orderly.”