The Thing That Should Not Be

I grew up in a culture that has full of tradition because I am an Asian. Our country was under the hands of the Spanish regime for about 300 years. So basically a lot of teachings and traditions is still present up until now. The influenced of the Spanish era has a big impact to us obviously, like our religion in which I was baptized as a Roman Catholic, the famous Fiesta celebration, education and among others.

The Spanish colonization brought an impact to us that enable us to have a closed-family tie relationship. Indeed, it is a major factor here but not knowing the effect that it caused to a certain family. The presence of jealousy, attitude problem, dependency and indolence in which is the most common thing here in our society. What I hate about it also is the so called “debt of honor”, in which we are obliged to pay back the things that our family have invested, in some sense it is good if a certain person was a successful one. The thing is you have to do it up until your last breath. The family always expects and if you fail to give for what they are asking, then a long list of fuckin’ insult you will probably hear from them. 

So, expect them to have a major change of their behaviors, they’ll probably will not talk to you and they will pretend that they didn’t know you. The funny thing is that your own family will basically ruin your own reputation to the society. That’s the dumbest thing that I observed from our culture. They will not accept any further explanation why a certain person failed to give the favor that they asked and the famous line will be “Look, how he|she had changed, now that he|she is on top of us, he|she didn’t realize the sacrifices we had for him|her and blah-blah-blah.” 

Oh! Well, that’s the reality in which I couldn’t even tolerate to agree upon. It causes the family to clash, I must say. A simple understanding should be applied for that instance because mostly people always thought of the “debt of honor” thing. It should be in our mind always that other people have also personal priorities and life is not always about chocolate and candies, they encounter problems too. Why can’t we just wait for the time when he|she will heartily hand the things to you, thoughtfullness basically means you are important because she|he remembers you. Do not expect too much because that causes a person to being upset. It is also important that we will instill the values of being respectful to others, so that in return we gain the respect that we want. 

It is very imperative to value others decisions, we grow up differently and we find happiness based on our individual personalities.

Respect is earned not given.

That is why we are unique from each other. Let us avoid dictating the things that we want because it is disrespectful. In addition, we must not look ourselves through their eyes because we are the sole controller of our own destinty.


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