While I decided to quit my job, I am always troubled with what is running in my head. I admit I am not an experienced writer but I did write poems before when anxiety hits. Unfortunately the poems I wrote were accidentally burned to thrash. It was alike a feeling of losing a best friend. Then I decided to quit writing poems. Back in my High School days I was always being given a good feedback with regards to my English subject. My teacher will constantly say if I continue to do so I might be at my best. Well, regrettably I just ignored it because at that time I am very excited about the scholarship granted by the Redemptorist Missionary through the various examinations that I took, I passed. Little did I know that excitement turns into a very disappointing one. My foster family did not permit me to grab the scholarship grant. They didn’t even realize how grateful it was to receive that kind of scholarship. I am not trying dragged myself, but to be honest out of 81 students who took, only three students passed and that includes me. I was anticipating that they will fully support me.
I am a member of a failed family. I grew up without my parents. My grandparents, uncles and aunties are my foster family. Growing up with my grandparents made me more determined to study, but the thing is my grandfather (which I called him Papa) is really disciplined and strict. Maybe because he turned into a Spanish tradition of discipline. When, in terms of studying I must finish it before 7 pm or else I ended up studying outside the house with the aid of the street lights. Everyday when I was growing up back in my elementary years he routinely turns off the lights at 7 pm. My grandfather was an alcoholic one, that is why. When he is drunk, even the lights in the market will be turned off, that’s how badass my Papa was. But people will always have a respect for him because when he is not intoxicated, he is the exact opposite. He is really hospitable and generous, especially to the strangers, that he even allowed them to sleep in our ancestral house.
In that sense of disciplined I was even more determined to always actively listened to each subject in school. The tendency of not listening well? will end me in studying outside the home. Though some level I had hated on my grandfather, but the irony is he became my inspiration. He always delivered this one quote in his life that he always point out when I did something wrong that I can’t follow. I always asked what it is, you know I am too young to comprehend instructions because my brain is always outside basically thinking of playing. So I was always absent-minded. The thing is he always emphasized this quote when he is angry ” One word is enough for a smart man” (I just translated it from our own language but that’s how it is interpreted in English).
It took me so long to dig what he really meant, I was too young then. But when I attended high school believe me it was my motto when I was asked then. I have always chosen as a group leader way back then and it really applies to what my grandfather is showing. I easily got irritated when someone doesn’t understand and doesn’t cooperate for every instruction that I presented. So it became a function of my life up until my college days. I am always upset when my classmates always asked again for instruction when obviously it was deliberately said clearly.
In addition, my grandfather became my inspiration in my lifespan. Up until today I always share it with my two boys about the quote that my Papa said. My older son basically has the same understanding now and how important it is to fully adopt a certain instruction. I always point out that in that mode, we are training ourselves for being an attentive. It became my tool also of being socially aware.
Though grandfather always said when I committed a mistake;
” You’re stupid!”
Now that I am a grown up man what he really meant by saying stupid is that, learning new things and possessing more knowledge is not stupidity.
Right now it is the main key to fully understand the world that we dwelled in.
He is not bad afterall, he is my greatest teacher. 👊🏼😉👌🏼